Archive for category Death

127 Hours

A couple of days ago I rented 127 hours. His character in a small way reminded me of Emile Hursh character in Into the Wild. Had that same ambition to find something he was looking for. It was an unbelievable movie. I loved how it was really about how awful of a person he saw himself and that made him see myself from the outside looking in. I just don’t know what I would do in that situation. I say to myself that I could probably cut my own arm off. But actually being in that situation and watching what he had to go through to survive, I don’t think I would have that will power. But then again I have never been in a life or death situation before. I honestly can tell you that I have no earthly idea what I would do.

Question here is: What would you do? How far would you go to survive?

Until next time…




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We Sing

We Laugh

We Dance

We Touch

We Speak

We Fight

We Cry

We Pray

We Stumble

We Fall

We Hurt

We Feel

We Stand

We Wait

We Cherish

We Dream

We Believe

We Live

We Die

We Love

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Crazy Emotions

I was telling someone the other day that my Grandpa has passed away on Valentine day of last year. He was a different type of people, some may say he was a class act or different character, but he was a hard worker and told you what he thought. Some people didn’t like that, some brushed it off because it didn’t matter to them anyway. I for one never felt like it was that way in our relationship. I knew and remember my Grandpa like I wanted to, not how everyone else portrayed him to be. He was funny, told me once that, “If you pee on a city building, your pee sinks down into peoples drinks in the restaurant”. He always knew how to make us laugh even though it made no sense at all.

At the viewing, I don’t normally like going up to a dead body because I don’t know if I want to remember them looking that way. As I walked up to the casket, each step I take getting louder and louder, I looked over and saw my Grandpa lying there, wearing a suit and tie, looking pretty sharp. But he didn’t look like him. I don’t know if that’s normal but he looked like someone else. All my emotions didn’t react like I thought it would. I didn’t cry, I didn’t feel anything, I guess I was more curious of why he was wearing a suit because he never wore a suit.

At the funeral, you’re basically having a family reunion. Seeing all your relatives you either haven’t seen in years or you’ve never seen at all. Trying to find the right words to say to them because you don’t know how they fit into the family, but you should know because your part of the family and you’ll look like an idiot if you don’t. And then you have family that won’t even talk to you, they just eye-ball you from across the room like you a Russian spy getting ready for a massive attack of destruction. But knowing me, I brushed up on my acting skills and acted like I was from Russia, trying to recruit some fresh meat to join my force.

When the service started I became as real as a person could be. My Grandpa didn’t want someone preaching him to heaven. Why? I’ll never understand. He wanted a jam session of songs and people he loved to hear play. I played guitar, because I didn’t want to be behind a drum set if my Mom needed me. We had five other people on stage playing songs he loved to hear. When all friends went up to see him and it was the families turn. I turned and saw my Mom stand up to get out of her seat, she was crying, which makes me cry shaking her head no like she didn’t want to see him. So I walked up to see my Grandpa one last time. But something was different then the visitation, I saw him totally different. Something came over me and I begin to cry more than I have ever cried before. I couldn’t hold it back either. I just cried. My brothers quickly rushed over and hugged up against me. It was a weird feeling, because I’m staring at him one minute with no emotion whatsoever, then the next I’m saying good-bye to him five hours later. Why wasn’t I like that when I first saw him lying there?

The only thing I can come up with is, because it was the last time I was ever going to see him.


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